Dating in relationship widower

Since falling in love with John, Susan has tried to make room in her marriage for memories of Bethany, but it’s far from easy.“Building relationships can be a daunting experience at the best of times, but when it involves a widower it can be fraught with its own unique set of emotional obstacles,” psychologist and couples counsellor Annie Gurton says.In many ways, dating a widower is no different to courting any other partner.“Everyone comes with some baggage, whether it’s through divorce or death,” Annie explains.“If he says the right things, makes you feel safe and is kind and considerate, chances are he means what he says.This is how you tell whether any potential suitor – widowed, divorced or bachelor – is ready to commit to a relationship,” Annie says.After all, there are pictures of her throughout the home she and John share.While she struggles to admit it, Susan often feels like she’s living in the woman’s shadow. The woman is John’s first wife, Bethany, who died five years ago.

“If you do encounter a difficult time from his friends and family, have patience – hopefully they will come around,” Annie says.“They will never forget her, and you shouldn’t want them to, but that doesn’t mean she has to be discussed daily or that her mementos and photos adorn every wall in the house,” Annie says.With sensitivity and tact, it’s possible to find ways to talk about his late wife while ensuring you both feel safe and comfortable with the topic.“Every so often, ask about how she would have handled special events, such as family birthdays and Christmas,” Annie says.As with any new relationship, protect yourself by taking things slowly and, if possible, discuss the ups and downs with friends who have experienced a similar situation.“To find love, you have to allow yourself to be vulnerable – and that exposes you to the possibility of being hurt.But without taking that risk, love will never come,” Annie adds.As your relationship grows, accepting that another woman will always be in his memories can be difficult.

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