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"Some things you just can't explain," the farmer said. In that moment, my pants fell down and my wife walked in ...

Some things you just can't explain." *** To Absent Brothers An Irishman walks into a bar in Dublin, orders three pints of Guinness and sits in the back of the room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn.

'The bartender admits that this is a nice custom, and leaves it there.

The Irishman becomes a regular in the bar and always drinks the same way: he orders three pints and drinks the three pints by taking drinks from each of them in turn. All the other regulars in the bar notice and fall silent. *** Drink 'Till She's Cute A man stopped at his favorite watering hole after a hard days work to relax.

The monkey grabs some olives off the bar and eats them. Then jumps onto the pool table, grabs one of the billiard balls, sticks it in his mouth, and to everyone's amazement, somehow swallows it whole. " He still eats everything in sight, but ever since he swallowed that cue ball, he measures everything first..." *** Getting Out of A Ticket A man in his 40's bought a new BMW and was out on the interstate for a nice evening drive. The cop came up to him, took his license without a word and examined it and the car.

" The man says, "I'll have a beer", the ostrich says, "I'll have a beer", and the cat says "I'll have half a beer and I'm not buying." The bartender gets them their beer and says "That'll be .87." The man reaches into his pocket and brings out the exact change and pays him.

One is in America, the other in Australia, and I'm here in Dublin.

When we all left home, we promised that we'd drink this way to remember the days we all drank together.

A couple of days later they come back into the bar and the bartender walks over and asks "What do you guys want today?

" The man says, "I'll have a scotch", the ostrich says, "I'll have a bourbon", and the cat says, "I'll have half a beer and I'm not buying." So the bartender says "OK, that will be .53." The man reaches into his pocket and brings out the exact change and pays him.

When he comes back to the bar for the second round, the bartender says, 'I don't want to intrude on your grief, but I wanted to offer my condolences on your great loss.' The Irishman looks confused for a moment, then a lights dawns in his eye and he laughs. He noticed a man next to him ordered a shot and a beer.

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